The Power of Women’s Circles
by Theresa ONeil
For many years as I built a successful career as an executive in the very male Tech industry, I didn’t hang out with groups of women. The power and decisions were with the men, and that’s where I wanted to be.
The first time I joined a women’s circle was in 2018. I was a little apprehensive, not knowing what to expect. But what I found was a transformational experience. I found a safe space to explore and share my feelings, my thoughts, and my voice with othe women. I found a group of women who to this day continue to lift me in prayer when I need it. Who will call bullsh*t on me when I need that. Who stand by me as witness to my joys and sorrows - and who allow me to stand by them in the thick and thin parts of life.
So as I look to create Women’s Circles here in New Buffalo, Michigan for women in Harbor Country, the Indiana Dunes and all of Northwest Indiana, I thought it would be helpful to share a little about women’s circles.
Women’s Circles Are Ancient
As long as there were communities, women gathered in circles. Some circles were primarily practical - sewing, cooking, caring for children. Some were spiritual - providing a place for women to meditate and pray in safety, with honesty. And many circles were a beautiful interweaving of practical and spiritual. Women, gathering to share experiences, stories, thoughts, ideas and prayers - and perhaps a shared meal. These circles offered a safe and gentle space for women to come together and share.
Women’s Circles Are Transformative
What I experienced in 2018 - and what surprised me most - was the transformative power of Women’s Circles. All these years thought groups of women lacked power: I could not have been more wrong!
The power of women in a circle is practical and spiritual. On the practical side, over time you build trust and feel more and more ready to share your heart’s deepest desires and fears. Not for advice - this isn’t therapy - but to state your truth and be heard. When it’s hard for you to acknowledge your truth, stating it in a safe environment can change everything. And when you need support and/or prayers, there is a circle to lift you up. The Spiritual rises up organically, from this center of trust and connection.
Women Lift Each Other Up in Circles
A women’s circle surrounds you with support, lifts you in prayer without belief or dogma. In my career I worked hard to lift up other women. I know that a rising tide lifts all boats. That is what a Women’s Circle is like. As each of us does our own work and shares our story bravely, we give courage to everyone else. We lift up all the members of the circle.
Women’s Circles Aren’t There to Fix You
Gathering in a circle of women can be a profoundly transformative - and vulnerable experience. Women circles can help us feel supported as we navigate the ups and downs of life. They can help us feel less alone in what we are going through.
It’s important to be clear that we aren’t there to fix one another or to solve each other’s problems. While there may be opportunities to ask or offer feedback, for the most part we are witnessing, listening and supporting. We are learning to believe in our own inner wisdom. Often we just need the quiet space to tune into our own wisdom, to have faith in it, and to take action (or not!) based on what we hear.
Creating Safe and Sacred Space
At the start of each circle, we will share our Agreements - statements that guide our time together in the circle. Each woman will acknowledge and accept the agreements before we begin.
Agreements for our Women’s Circles make clear our expectations and create a Safe and Sacred Space.
I will listen with full presence and without judgment.
I will speak from my own personal experiences, with “I” statements.
I will breathe before responding.
I agree that the discussions in this group are confidential. I will ask permission before sharing a story or experience.
It is not my responsibility to fix anyone.
I will not offer comfort and I will request comfort when I need it.
I will transform comparison into connection.
I understand that discussing some topics will be uncomfortable and that powerful memories and emotions may arise. If I feel discomfort because of my growing understanding of these topics, I will lean into that discomfort, with self-awareness and tenderness, in order to grow.
I expect and accept non-closure of systemic challenges because the work of bringing healing, freedom and justice is ongoing.
I affirm the equality of all people in this circle.
I take responsibility for my experience.
Our Circles Are for All Women
Our circles are for all women. You don’t have to practice yoga or have any specific belief system. You don’t have to look a certain way, move a certain way or think in a certain way. You don’t have to be outgoing. All you need is an open heart. We welcome all people who identify as women.
What to Expect During Our Women’s Circles
Each of our Women’s Circles will be facilitated by me, along with one or more of my spirit sisters. And while the details of the circle may change from month to month, the overall structure will remain steady.
We’ll start with a little movement to free our bodies, but there won't be a yoga asana practice. We'll open our circle with some sound - drums, voices, bowls, whatever seems right
We will then invite everyone to speak, to share their voice, from their heart. We aren't there to fix or solve, but to witness and support.
We'll also offer some kind of beauty: music, poetry, candles, or ceremony and enjoy quietude or meditation together. And we’ll end as we begin, with sound. And perhaps in time, we’ll enjoy food together!
Our time together is an opportunity for us to be our authentic selves and to connect with other women on the path.
No experience or equipment is necessary. Just bring your open heart.
